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09 Goes To Hell And Challenges Satan To Haxball
After 09 pressed that button, his soul emptied out and he killed himself. After he died, he stopped at the welcome mat of Hell's smoothie bar. There he met Nathan123, in other words, Satan. 09 ordered a latte with dead baby sprinkles and narwhal puke. There he argued with Satan: 09: "Hey! I wanna go back! I wanna be alive again! I miss my F/Fs!" Satan: "No can do, mate. Just wait for your drink." 09: "How about we make a deal?" Satan: "I'm all ears." 09: "If i beat you at Haxball, you'll have to send me back to the Pouetpu Games main page, and get all my F/Fs back." Satan: "Haxball? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I'm a pro at that game. But what if i win?" 09: "Then i'll be your bitch... forever." Everyone in the bar went "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH." Satan: "I don't need one. Besides, i already have Nikki. Anyways, let's go!" 09: "Two halves. 10 minutes each." Satan: "You got a deal, purple hat." The Next Day 09 managed to pass around his friend RarkeyMuiz79, who died in a violent missile crash, and they started to talk. Rarkey: "Hey man. What's up?" 09: "I challenged Satan to Haxball..." Rarkey: "Then why are you so let down? You're the king of that crappy thing!" 09: "My life depends on that crappy thing. And besides... i saw Satan playing. He's wild. Viscous. I'd be killed in the first 3 seconds." Rarkey: "Oh. There's nothing to do then..." In that same night, 09 and Rarkey drank some beers and went crazy to the point of committing sodomy, which thank god they didn't. Second Day 09 hears a knock on the door, and got his miserable fat ass up to answer. The one knocking was Nikki, the queen of Hell, and Satan's wife. Nikki: "So i heard you'll challenge my husband... that's so MANLY *pulls titties up* of you." 09: "fjjdjjsdjh bughhgugbhthg titties igjfghuhghugh *09 continues rambling about his exquisite way of getting completely wasted in the world of torture and pain*" Nikki: "I noticed you were staring at them. Wanna touch them?" 09: "bulgughughughuhuuugghhhh?" Nikki: "I'll let you touch them." 09 and Nikki end up having savagely wild sex for 3 hours. Censored by the U.S Government. 09: "UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHAGHHHHH!!!" 09 emptied his clip on Nikki. Nikki: "That was AWESOME." The Next Day 09: "Oh crap... it's tomorrow! Tomorrow i have to face Satan... I better get ready." 09 began to play Haxball and didn't stop for 14 hours. Rarkey: "09! You're gonna die!" 09: "GOOOOOOOOAL!" Rarkey: "09! Satan knows you did it with Nikki and he's coming to get you!" 09: "PERFECT SHOT FROM THE CORNER." Rarkey: "Fuck you, i never liked you, i'ma go hang out with Minecraft Fans." 09: "GOOOOOOOAL!" 2 AM in Hell. 09 is sleeping on top of his computer. The Match Day 9 AM in Hell. ???: "Hey. Wake up." 09: *Random groans* ???: "I SAID, WAKE UP!" ??? throws a bucket of koffie on 09. 09: "AHHHHHH! WHAT? WHAT? WHAT DID I MISS? HUH? Eh...." ???: "Today's the day." 09: "Who the hell are you? What are you doing in my condo?" ???: "My name is Methuselah. I am one of Satan's personal helpers." 09: "Ok... Pleased to meet you, Methuselah." Methuselah: "We should get going. Satan's waiting, and he's FURIOUS, i tell you. FURIOUS!" At the smoothie bar... Satan: "09... i've been waiting for you." 09: "Satan... get prepared." The Match (Narrated By Martin Tyler And Alan Smith) Martin: "Well, Alan, this will be a wonderful game, it's 09dhowell versus Satan." Alan: "Yes, Martin, i believe it'll be a shockingly good game, since 09's life is at stake." First Half 2" - Martin: "Satan coming through. Left 09 right around the middle of the field and took the shot! It's a goal for Satan. The game is 1-0." 5" - Martin: "09. Has a good chance. Stunning kick from far away. Astonishing goal!" Alan: "That's the equalizer, there." 8" - Martin: "Satan has a hold of the ball. Kicked it badly, sent it to corner. Took the corner shot. 09 bumps the ball to far away. Good chance, Alan, good chance wasted right there." Alan: "Satan could have scored two right there, but he turned out really sloppy." 10" - Martin: "There we go, end of the first half. It is 1-1." Second Half 1" - Martin: "Satan. Coming through. It's a chance! He did it! It's a goal! Goal over to Satan, as it is now 2-1." 3" - Martin: "Satan again. Coming through the sides. Has a minor chance, he shoots. He scores! Goal for Satan. It is now 3-1." Alan: "Satan is getting really serious here, but he decreased his chance of fair play." 4" - Martin: "09's chance. He's in the clear! Shoots! It's a goal!" Alan: "Good goal for 09 there, Martin. The game is 3-2. Satan's still on the lead, though." 6" - Martin: "Satan taking a risk here. 09 running to the goal. Satan's in the clear. He shoots! 09 sends it to corner!" 7" - Martin: "09. Left Satan behind on a great chance. He shoots from far. He did it! The equalizer!" Alan: "Great goal. That definitely saved 09's life. It is now 3-3." Satan: "09, get ready to DIE!" 09: "I'm already dead." 9" - Martin: "The game's gonna end soon. Oh what's this? Someone joined the server!" Alan: "Martin, this person has horrible lag. Who is it?" Martin: "It's called Shari... Oh, it's a deadly virus! The game is frozen!" Alan: "This is terrible, Martin, horrible occasion." The game froze and then a message showed up. "The haxball servers have gone to sleep. Good night!" Ending coming soon. Shut up blud -0range Category:Fanfiction